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God’s Calendar

Announcing: God’s Calendar

Does it bother you to go to church on “Sunday,” a day named by
idolatrous pagans who worshipped the Sun as a god? It should! What
about Bible Study on “Wednesday” night? “Wednesday” was
named after Wodin, a warlike god worshipped by primitive Scandinavians
(who today are notorious atheists and have the highest suicide rate
in the world). In fact, if you go down the list of the days of the week
and the months of the year, ALL of the names, every one of them, have
OF THE WEEK AND MONTHS! This discrimination must stop!

Some of you may say “Why is this important? Aren’t they just names?”
NO!! They are not “just” names! Does it matter when a man calls Jesus
Christ a “myth” instead of “Son of the Living God?” Of course it does!
It is the same thing with the months and the days of the week. The calendar
can pay tribute to pagan idols or it can pay tribute to God and Christ. There is
no middle ground. When our children learn these names for the days and months,
they are also learning that Paganism is an acceptable “alternative lifestyle.”
The threat to their souls is very real!

Moreover, God calls upon us to purify the calendar. From the Book of
Job: “As for that night, let darkness seize upon
it; let it not be joined unto the days of the year, let it not come into the
number of the months.”
Here, the “night” is paganism/Athiesm,
and God clearly enjoins us not to allow it to become entangled in His
divinely ordained calendar.

In light of this desperate situation, a select committee of believers
have met for prayerful discussion of the issue, and the Holy Spirit
revealed to them GOD’S CALENDAR, which it is His will that should replace the
Pagan calendar that the Athiest one-worlders have forced on us for 2 thousand
years. What a blessed development this is! God is truly good! Here,
then, are the new Christian names for the days of the week and the months,
announced here for the first time to Believers everywhere:

Old (Pagan) New (Christian)
Sunday Godsday
Monday Genesisday
Tuesday Mosesday
Wednesday Noahsday
Thursday Apostlesday
Friday Crossday
Saturday Christsday
January Jesusuary
February Matthewary
March Mark
April Peter
May Mary
June John
July James
August Paul
September Lukember
October Grahamber
November Reganber
December Nativuary

Just think how wonderful it will be to go to church with
your wife and children on Godsday! How
conducive to Bible Study to have entire months named after Matthew, Mark, Luke,
and John! How appropriate to
have the first month of every single year devoted to Jesus, whose sacrifice
delivers us from sin and death! Think
of the lighthearted (but reverent) jokes Christians everywhere will be able to
make when it rains on Noahsday! Some
may question naming months after Billy Graham and Ronald Reagan while they are
still technically alive, but anyone who prays on it with an open heart will see
that the contributions of these two men to Christianity are so enormous that
they are entirely deserving of the honor. (Of
course all honor and glory are really God’s!)

What can you, as a true Christian, do to advance the cause
of GOD’S CALENDAR? First of all,
USE IT! Start using the Christian
names of the days and months at home and in your church right away.
Imagine how powerful it will be for your members to receive the church
newsletter for “Mary”! (I’ll bet the Church office gets compliants about a
“typo”!) Next, start using the
new names in correspondence and conversation. Write letters to Christian
publications and your childrens’ school (unless you home school) asking them
to change the way they refer to days and months.

Second, lobby the government to make these Christian names
official! Write to your senators and Congressmen. Tell them
that America is a Christian Nation, and the calendar should reflect that fact.
Sure, it is hard to get the government to do anything, but there are some
Godly men in Congress, and they will go along when they see that the people are
on our side!

The Secular Humanists, the Athiests, the one-worlders, the
New Agers and the Evolutionists will raise a hue and cry about this proposal,
you can be sure of it. Mired in
their sin, they will fight the progress of God’s kingdom in this as in all
things. They will say that it is
too difficult or too expensive to change the names on the calendar. (Funny they
don’t say that when it comes time to give money to “doctors” to kill
babies!) They will bring up the bogus “seperation of church and state.” They will
say we need to be “fair” and name months after Buddha and Darwin. But with
prayer and diligence, we will prevail just as Christ will ultimately
prevail at the end of the age. God Bless you all!

Yours in Christ,


P.S. God’s enemies are well financed, and fighting Satan is expensive!
When God moves you to send a donation to the GOD’S CALENDAR Ministry,
please accept His Spirit and give generously. Prayer is powerful, but in
this fallen world money is needed as well!

“God’s Calendar” is copyright © 2001 by Richard Heritage.

The electronic version is copyright © 2001 Internet Infidels.