Friends, this is Reverend A.J. Pettybone, America’s foremost expert on the Antichrist and head of Pettybone Ministries in beautiful Big Mud, Texas.
Through intense study of the Book of Revelation and the other Prophetic books of the Bible, the reading of comic books, the reading of the “Left Behind” Series, the watching of the “Omen” movies on Cable TV–and the liberal use of LSD–I have determined the truth about the Antichrist and Harry Potter.
Harry Potter is a real person–the illegitimate son of J. K. Rowe, (author of the Harry Potter books) and the prince of darkness himself, Satan, who lives in London under the alias of McJagger.
Rowe is obviously the Scarlet Woman, the Whore of Babylon foretold by Revelation.
The Harry Potter books are an attempt to convince the world that Harry Potter is the True Savior.
Harry Potter is now at Hogwarts School, in training to be the world conqueror. He will soon reveal himself to the world and begin his world conquest using black magic. To make matters worse, mad scientists at Hogwarts have created hundreds of evil Harry Potter clones who will assist Harry Potter in his diabolical scheme.
To stop Harry Potter, I am demanding that President Bush send the Delta Force to wipe out Hogwarts and kill Harry Potter once and for all.
Reverend A. J. Pettybone
Big Mud, Texas