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The Stupid Atheist

I had a lot of questions in Catholic school. And they didn't have a lot of answers.

And the answers they did have seemed like pretty bad ones. Especially the dismissive: "You're a little too young to understand this right now", or the haughty and insidious: "We don't ask those types of questions!"

Don't make Sister angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry.

I still have all those questions, and more. Actually, the one I really wish that I'd asked was: "Why would a guy who can walk on water need His feet washed?"

But I'd taken one too many knees to the sternum from the Swathed and Saintly Sadists as it was, so I sat on my thumbs and shut my face.

Today, the answers are still dismissive: "You haven't read your bible." Oh, but I have. Several versions. And the Apocrypha. And the apologetics. And the counter-apologetics. And the counter-counter-apologetics.

"You have to keep an open mind." I'm open to being convinced of anything. Hell, I'm starting to believe Leonardo DiCaprio might be able to act. How's that for open-minded?

"You just have to take it on faith and believe." Well Yeshua Christos, why didn't you open with that argument in grade school?! Why'd we waste all that time on scripture when a bumper-sticker could have sufficed?

"You just don't understand."

I know I don't. I know. I'm just a Stupid Atheist...