The Mensa Flu
We have broken the code used to encrypt the files on the history of the virus they call the Mensa Flu. The files were in a research center in the mountain Biome (domed city) called New Denver in the Rockies, outside of the deserted city of Denver. An encryption program protected the files on the Mensa Flu. It appears that these files are not only some of the official records of the various investigative agencies involved in the search for the people responsible for the influenza outbreak; but they also include E-mail messages recovered later between some members of the sect that first spread the virus worldwide, as well as E-mails from other interested observers of this pandemic. Some of these other observers appear to approve of the effect this Mensa Flu had on the world’s population, at least at first. Later, when the true enormity of this pathogen became apparent, there were few fans of this disease left. JC Marx originally compiled these files as part of his personal record of the history of this epidemic. Some of the language is over a three hundred years old and somewhat arcane, but we can understand and decipher it, thanks to their surviving data and video storage computers. It’s amazing that these Americans let themselves degenerate into this level of development; well, their loss was our gain. I send you the files in their correct historical order for your inspection below.
Praise be to
CDC log entry:
'It’s not often that one has the opportunity to pinpoint exactly when and where the first outbreak of a new influenza pandemic occurs, but we know exactly when and where the Mensa Flu outbreak first occurred. Sunday, Oct. 29, 2000 at the Mensa Halloween party, between 7:30 and 10:00 PM at the Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen’s Club, 283 Lexington Av. Manhattan, New York City, N.Y., a person dressed in a grim reaper costume, complete with a scythe, spiked the punch bowl. We even know the name he used, Alfred Nobel, which was of course his clever way of giving us a clue to the group behind what has turned out to be the biggest mass murder of humanity in the history of the world. We know this because that individual left enough of an impression on a few guests, that several of them remembered him spiking the punch with something from an ornate bottle and telling them it was dynamite stuff. When one of the guests asked him what he had poured into the punch bowl, he said rum, and he scooped out a glass and drank it in front of them, a thoroughly convincing act. It was a brazen and suicidal move by this terrorist thug, we found out later that he died from the Mensa Flu himself. He appears to be of Middle Eastern descent; we were able to identify him as the “grim reaper” at the party from his fingerprints on the ornate bottle he used, but no positive identification of him has been made to date. He identified himself as Mohamed, a messenger of death from Allah and a member of a previously unknown group, the ALF (Arab Liberation Faction) as he lay dying in the hospital. However, by that point in time he was delirious and the hospital staff didn’t report what he said until later. This group, The ALF, is not the usual Middle East terrorist group. In the world of shadowy terrorism, they didn’t show up on the early warning radar at all. Their first act of terrorism was this biological attack in New York, but a few days later they attacked several major cities on all the continents in the non-Muslim world. The other attackers used spray cans of what looked like air freshener. They walked around spraying the contents in crowded areas like subway platforms, shopping malls and casinos. This Arab terrorist group, the ALF, was the first to use biological warfare on a worldwide scale, though it is theorized that they didn’t foresee the enormity of the destruction to mankind that would occur from their act. Within a few months, the Mensa Flu was a worldwide pandemic and no part of the world, Middle East included, escaped its devastation.
This is one tough virus; the rum in the bottle was 151, and the virus was still alive when the CDC got that bottle for testing a month later. This strain of influenza is extremely durable, living for days on exposed surfaces. A single infected person coughing into a room can infect everyone within reach of the their cough droplet radius. Unlike every other influenza virus known, this one has an extremely short incubation time; the infected party will become contagious within two hours, with sneezing and coughing that mimics an allergy attack at first, which indicates this virus is unlike any influenza virus mankind has ever experienced in the past. In addition to the incredibly short incubation period, infected persons stay contagious until they recover completely or die. Within forty-eight hours the first recognized symptoms of the Mensa Flu appeared. As influenza viruses go, this at first seemed to be a run-of-the-mill contagion. There was the usual sore throat, runny nose, cough and fever, though the fever was much higher in those infected than usual. As with all influenza outbreaks, there was no cure, only symptomatic relief. Within a few more days the first deaths attributed to the Mensa Flu were documented. The first deaths from this influenza were the custodian of the club, John Brown, and his girlfriend and roommate, a homeless woman he rescued from the streets, a Miss Toto Katz. They’d obviously finished off the punch bowl as they cleaned up the hall after the party, and the custodian saved the ornate bottle used to deliver the rum and virus concoction, for his bottle collection. This man and woman, whose rapid deaths resulted in a search of their apartment, gave us the first clue as to where this virus came from. The investigation into the death of the “grim reaper” confirmed who was responsible for this biological attack.
To date the pandemic has killed over two hundred and fifty million people worldwide, though it appears to be running its course and is dissipating in all parts of the world that reported outbreaks. As with all influenza pandemics, its future potential for replication, mutation and further outbreaks is unknown at this time. In keeping with all influenza pandemics of the past, the poor, the young and the elderly as well as those with suppressed immune systems have suffered and died in disproportionate numbers. As for the ALF, the most massive search ever organized worldwide for all of its members is ongoing, with every government in the world cooperating. Though it appears that the Mensa Flu is not a commonplace influenza strain, further research is ongoing into its DNA structure. We suspect that it is an engineered strain, but we have no proof at this time. It appears to have the usual characteristics of most influenza strains, but there are abnormalities present in the DNA that we do not understand yet. This strain is demonstrably worse than the influenza strain that killed 20 million people worldwide in the 1918. Unlike the 1918 outbreak, which usually killed its victims by allowing pneumonia to gain a foothold, this virus kills on its own.
Amanda B. Richard
Research Biologist, CDC
What have we done? Why did Mohammad pour the virus into a punch bowl at the infidels Mensa party in New York? This mistake has allowed the authorities to know who we are and they are relentless in their pursuit of our members. You said this virus was supposed to kill the infidels in small numbers locally in our jihad against them, not kill millions worldwide. Allah will not bless this, we have killed millions of our own people and even now we are hunted down like rats in a mansion. How did this come to be?
May Allah be merciful,
I don’t know what happened, the infidel, Marx, who delivered the cans of virus lied to us. He was supposed to give us spray cans filled with a mutated flu virus that was short term and deadly in small areas, not this Mensa Flu bug. I don’t know why Mohammad didn’t use the spray can like everyone else, he liked parties, perhaps he just wanted to go and have a good time. All I know is Marx worked directly with Mohammad on the Mensa attack. I think Marx and Bsama-Bin-Haten’s group, Al Kbang, have tricked us and used us for some other purpose. Marx said it was important to start the attack at the Mensa party, it was something about the people that were there. He said something about them being lab rats worthy of the first test. Marx and the fifty million deposited by Bin-Haten in his Swiss bank account have vanished. All of our men were killed when they used the spray cans to spread the virus in the infidel’s cities. The vaccine given to them did nothing to protect them. There are only a few of us left, and we must stay hidden, or they will take revenge on our families if they find out who we are. May Allah have mercy on our souls. I can no longer live with what we have done; by the time you get this I will be dead.
May Allah be most merciful,
What an opportunity this Mensa Flu is for us to corner the market on health care and medical research. This flu has wiped out large numbers of the poor and homeless here, and panicked the rest of the population in America and the world. This is a rare market opportunity that we must seize now. I would start moving your money out of software development and into health services, drug manufacturing and related industries. I have an inside source at CDC that tells me this was no ordinary influenza outbreak, so health care and pharmaceuticals will be very hot for the foreseeable future.''
All the Best,
Personal journal entry:
Now it begins; when the ALF has finished its work, the world will be a much better place. It’s to bad I had to use Mohammed and his friends that way, but in any war, people must die for a worthy cause, and this one is the most worthy of all.
FROM: Glax-Klin-Merc Pharmaceuticals CEO, S.F. Dashwood
TO: Security manager Hal J. Lurking
SUBJECT: memo, Encryption code dp51190.
This is a top-secret message to be read by you only and implemented by your department.
No copies of this message are to be made or stored, read it and delete it when you have carried out my orders.
As you know, JC Marx, research biologist on the influenza vaccine project we were working on has disappeared. With him went some very sensitive research material as well as a few cases of aerosol spray cans to be used in the testing of airborne delivery systems for various viral agents, which were designed to increase sales of our anti-viral drugs. It appears that he, unbeknown to us, was doing some research on the mutation of a common influenza virus. He apparently filled the cans with his experimental influenza virus before he left. We found out about this when Milton T. Fundie, the custodian in his lab, caught the Mensa Flu back in September and died. We were able to keep his death quiet, as he fell sick here and we kept him in quarantine in our own small research hospital. His death was listed as poising by an unknown agent by our medical staff. We’ll miss Milton, he wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, but he was a god-fearing man. Shortly after Milton’s death, JC Marx disappeared with all his research data and our equipment. He also hacked into our computer system and deleted all references to himself and his work. As you know, he was under observation already because of some of the people he associated with, particularly members of this Arab group, the ALF. You failed to warn us about his connection to the ALF; another failure on your part would be most detrimental to your career.
Marx is the brightest biologist to ever work for us, he tested out at well over 200 in the Stanford-Binet and the Wechsler tests, but he also showed signs of mental instability and acute paranoia. I guess that was to be expected from someone named after both Jesus Christ and Karl Marx. We found out that he has some strange beliefs, rooted in the Lebanese Christian cult his American/Lebanese mother belonged to. When she was killed in that car bombing by the CIA agent trying to kill Bsama-Bin-Haten in Beirut, Marx reacted very strangely according to his colleagues. He became more withdrawn and almost fanatical about his work. As you know, he killed one of his colleagues who knew too much about what he was working on before he disappeared. It appears that Mr. Marx has some responsibility for the outbreak of the Mensa Flu, and for obvious reasons he needs to be found, and any mention of his work for us and his employment here must be eliminated. Fortunately, only a few people here knew of him, and they can be trusted to remain silent. It would be best if Mr. Marx disappeared along with his work. This search has the highest priority and you can draw any necessary funds from your discretionary account. If there are any questions about your department’s activities, refer them to me. In addition, there is a bonus of one million dollars each for the individuals that eliminate this problem
S. F. Dashwood
CDC Log Entry:'''''
It has been ten years since the last outbreak of the Mensa Flu and we have learned much about it in the intermittent time. As we suspected, it was not a naturally developing virus; it was designed in a very sophisticated laboratory somewhere in the world. We suspect the man who developed it was named JC Marx but we can find no record of him anywhere. All we get are unconfirmed rumors of his existence and work on the virus. There are unconfirmed reports that there is a multi-million dollar reward on him, but we can’t confirm that either at this time. It appears that this name was a pseudonym for him, in any event. We have had unconfirmed reports that a research biologist by that name worked for the pharmaceuticals giant Glax-Klin-Merc, but no trace of him can be found in their records, and they deny ever having heard of him.
Reports by M.F. Otis, CDC Coordinator in Australia, show that the Mensa Flu is back, still highly contagious and deadly. This time the first outbreak occurred in the outback town of Quasi, in Australia and quickly spread to the rest of the country, Asia and Africa. It is now being reported in all areas of the rest of the world and it is spreading rapidly, just like in 2001. In addition to the obvious dissemination of this virus by unknown radical groups, this time it looks like the pandemic may also be occurring on its own, which is a disaster of the worst magnitude for mankind. If this is the case, then the Mensa Flu is entrenched in nature and will be with us for a long time, unless we can find a cure. The last outbreak ended up killing over three hundred million worldwide, and this one looks to be even more virulent than the last one. The new generation of anti viral drugs has had no effect on it. To date it has killed over one hundred million people and this is in the first two weeks of this outbreak. There are still at least two and a half months to go, before we can expect it to subside.
In addition to its influenza effects, we now know that it causes sterility in people in lower IQ ranges. Last time it didn’t destroy people’s ability to reproduce who were above the 100-point range. It did cause some mild birth anomalies in the higher IQ ranges, 130 and above, but is still unclear what the eventual effects of these anomalies will be. So far, the effects appear to be confined to intellect, skin, hair and eye color. All babies affected have been born with medium brown skin, brown hair, blue eyes, and elevated IQ’s. The race, ethnic makeup and socio-economic status of the parents appears to be irrelevant at this point, the only common factor is the IQ of the parents. At present, these babies are a small minority of the overall birth rate, but they will be monitored carefully for any problems in the future. As the virus has mutated again, we don’t know what effect, if any, it will have on the reproductive rates of mankind, but the prognosis is not good at this point. Clearly this pathogen was designed to cause sterility and birth anomalies as well as kill many of its victims. We feel that these traits of the Mensa Flu will continue-or get worse. As for the ALF, it looks like it was used by Bin-Haten’s group as a front to attack the west. All surviving members of the ALF were reportedly caught or committed suicide when it became clear what they had done. Of course, this attack on the west backfired on Bin-Haten; the death rate in much of the Arab world was higher than in the rest of the world. We have been unable to pin this act of genocide on Bin-Haten or his group Al Kbang. The two known surviving ALF members were murdered while in captivity before they could give us any direct evidence of his involvements in this genocide of mankind. This latest outbreak calls into question whether the ALF has been destroyed or not. We have offered a ten million dollar reward for any information leading to the capture of Bsama-Bin-Haten, as well as JC Marx, and any others involved in this act of genocide. Any help that any source can give us will be rewarded.
Amanda B. Richard,
Research Biologist, CDC
The Mensa Flu is back and they are again blaming us for spreading it around. How should I handle this scurrilous attack on us by the western infidel press? I thought we had eliminated all links between the Arab Liberation Faction, JC Marx, you and your group, Al Kbang, ten years ago. I await your orders.
The imperialist infidels who are also looking for JC Marx have contacted me. Our intelligence sources confirm that Marx has made an arrangement with one of our competing Islamic factions to spread this disease again and blame us. We are getting information that the group is the ALF; apparently they are still around and growing larger. After the last outbreak of this flu bug and resulting hunt for them, they have grown even more secretive. We thought the ALF would be a useful tool, but they have turned out to be very dangerous to us. In addition our sources tell us that the ALF has developed into a doomsday cult and is trying to destroy everyone on our planet in order to bring about heaven on earth. Continue to deny any link with the ALF, Marx and us; this is critical, as any link to us would turn the Afghanis against us. We must destroy the ALF and Marx at all costs, they have declared war on us as surely as they have the rest of mankind.''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
May Allah be with you,
Dear Mr. S.F. Dashwood,
I have received you’re message and we are willing to help you find JC Marx. As you may know, my clients had a business arrangement with him some years ago, and he sold them products other than what they had contracted him for. My clients have a two million dollar reward on Marx, and I understand you have an even larger reward for his delivery to you. Our sources tell us he is somewhere in the US and is still engaged in biological research. Everyone we have gotten close to him has disappeared and his trail is cold at this point. We have an old saying; “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”, and we will do everything we can to catch this murderous infidel dog. If you find him first, we will pay you a million dollars for his head; you may keep the rest of him.
Mohammad Al-Koy Esq.
CDC Log Entry:
This is a follow up report for the latest outbreak of the Mensa Flu. This time the influenza outbreak has spread to over two billion people worldwide and killed over five hundred million. We are not sure if this was an attack by what remains of the ALF; (which rumor has it is now a doomsday cult) another Middle Eastern terrorist group, JC Marx, some combination of them, or a natural outbreak. If this is a natural outbreak, then the Mensa Flu has mutated to an even more virulent strain. This time we know what to look for in the way of collateral damage to humanity. The reproductive damage is even worse than before, and the high death rate has moved up the IQ scale to the 110-115 IQ range. As for any birth anomalies, we will have to wait and see if the trend of last time continues. Another worrisome note is the growing belief among the poor that this pandemic is designed to wipe them out. It doesn’t help that right wing racist publications and various fundamentalist Christian newsletters say this is God’s revenge for the sinful life the poor and un-godly lead. This pandemic is not only killing people on a scale unknown in human history, it is destroying the very fabric of our civilization in the process.
Amanda B. Richard,
Research Biologist, CDC
Personal journal entry:
It is amusing to watch the world “leadership” flaying around trying to figure out why the ALF is doing, what we are doing. In another twenty years it will all become clear to them, but it will be to late to do anything about it then. Its like watching rats in a maze that has no openings scurry around trying to find a way out. The answer is right there in front of them and they will never see it. Well it’s time for phase two of my plan to begin working, wait till they get a load of this!
CDC Log Entry:
The Mensa Flu has taken a turn for the worse, if that’s possible. It’s no longer just a deadly mutated influenza strain, it has been genetically engineered and the AIDS virus has been grafted into it. Now it’s also an STD. In any event it has the worst characteristics of both viruses. How will we stop this mutation that is decimating mankind? That is a question that is plaguing the best minds we have left. It should be impossible to do what JC Marx and the ALF have done, but there it is anyway. The Mensa Flu component of this hybrid lays dormant until flu season and then it makes the rounds killing and sterilizing people in what’s left of the world’s population. The rest of the year the AIDS component spreads this virus around using all the transmission routs that AIDS has used in the past. The Mensa Flu continues to move up the IQ ladder, attacking those with higher IQ’s as it goes. The low range is in the 120’s now. In the 20 years this Mensa Flu pandemic has been around it has killed or sterilized 90 percent of the world’s population. In addition, the birth anomalies have shown a clear trend. The babies that were born with the birth anomalies are immune to the old Mensa Flu as well as the new “mutation” that Marx and the ALF have engineered and turned loose on the world. The children are all healthy and very bright, and as they have grown up, they are able to have babies that have their genetic makeup. The bad news is that there are not a lot of these children that have been born, less than one million to date; lets hope that trend changes. Regardless, it looks like the rumored plans of Marx and the ALF doomsday cult to destroy mankind will fail. Mankind is adapting to this threat. They have, however, created a mutation in mankind, and these children our only hope for survival. At the present rate of infection, the non-mutated members of humanity will be extinct in ten years. I have the virus now and my immune system is failing, which will leave me open to the Mensa Flu this fall. This is my last report; I hope humanity survives this assault on it and tracks down the ALF and Mr. Marx and destroys them.
Amanda B. Richard,
Research Biologist, CDC
Personal journal entry:
What’s left of the old humanity is still chasing their tails looking for the ALF that is trying to destroy mankind. It’s all so ironic really, the truth has been under their nose all along and they can’t see it. There are only a few thousand of the old mankind left, and they should all have the Mensa Flu/AIDS virus by now. I know that Bin-Haten took some followers into the mountains of Afghanistan and disappeared some years back, but it is too little to late. They should all be dead by the end of the year. My new mankind Homo-superior is now established, and the next mutation in humanity will occur over the coming century. My plan took shape back when I discovered the DNA gene at Glax-Klin-Merc pharmaceuticals that allowed me to program my body to never age. The human genome project was a godsend to me. I was able to use the supercomputers there to completely map out and decipher what the genes did. From there it was just a matter of using the information I already had on the influenza project to insert the human genes into the Mensa Flu and start the process of replacing old man with new man. I created a new identity at a Glax-Klin-Merc lab in New York and hid in plain sight there. A little plastic surgery and I was a new man.
This allowed me the use of all their resources to continue my research and development of the Mensa Flu and later the AIDS variant. Hal J. Lurking, their security manager, was in my pocket from the start; he was my partner in selling the spray cans of the flu to Bsama-Bin-Haten and setting up the ALF to deliver it. Hal was a slave to one of the oldest vices of man, greed, and therefore easy to manipulate. After Hal had served his purpose for ten years an unfortunate “stroke” killed him. As for Bin-Haten, what a moron he was; he was so consumed by his hatred of the US that he was easly manipulated into doing my bidding, with no idea he was my puppet on a string.
My favorite part of this plan was the Arab Liberation Faction. It was amusing to have Mohammad go into the Mensa party and identify himself as Alfred Nobel as he spiked the punch, giving the authorities a false clue to the identity of the ALF. I mean it was the ALF that was responsible for the elimination of Homo sapiens, and replacing them with Homo superior, but it was the Animal Liberation Front all along. We had no choice in this, man was overrunning this world, destroying the environment, killing helpless animals for food, and using up non-renewable resources that were necessary for the very survival of future generations. What we did was save humanity from itself in the end. Sure I had to make some changes to the DNA structure of man; we had to evolve man to a smaller vegetarian species if we were to survive. First I was able to genetically engineer my children into vegetarians, and then gradually decrease their protein intake until they were herbivores and easly controlled, using the methods of many religious cults and their “low protein vegetarian” diets. Sadly, I had to eliminate all surviving ALF members lest they contaminate the new gene pool. As mankind is evolved from an omnivore to an herbivore, we will restore the balance of nature. We will finish the Biomes (domed cities) that were the last refuge of Homo sapiens and re-populate them with Homo superior We will be able to stabilize the population at approximately a million worldwide and stop the cruel practice of eating animals for food, we will be able to practice pure democracy and develop a Marxist utopia. My father told me on his death bead that I was the last survivor of Karl Marx’s linage. My great forbearer would be proud of me, I have brought his vision to fruition. I’ll still be around to guide my children, but one leader is all this world will need to maintain utopia.
Personal journal entry:
The transformation of mankind is complete. Man is now a peaceful, docile, herbivorous species who use solar power and renewable hydrogen for all our living and transportation needs. My children are the cream of evolution; we have achieved a true Marxist democratic utopia. The people handle all political activities directly, using computers to vote on the issues affecting them. As for leadership, there is only one leader needed to give them the necessary wisdom on life, me. My children follow my every command, what a beautiful race they have become. The construction of the biomes is finished and we are all living in them with minimal impact on the environment. I have saved the world for posterity. But that isn’t the big news; we have made contact with another intelligent species, the Dorene! They are a gentle race, despite their fearsome appearance, which is like a gorilla crossed with a cheetah. They are a handsome species, with a light brown spotted fur coat, and their average height is seven feet. They tower over my children, who average four feet tall. Though there are only a few thousand of them left, they come in peace, looking for a place to live. Their star system had gone nova, and they were all that survived. The Dorene are excellent engineers, they have already made improvements to our biomes and our heating and cooling systems, saving us even more energy! They understand the need to keep their population in check and they marvel at what I have done with mankind. They have pledged their allegiance to me, they will be a valuable addition to this world. We welcome the Dorene to their new home!
JC Marx ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
The above entries give us a fairly complete picture of how these humans ended up as our prey and not as a worthy adversary. It is clear that in their prime they would have overpowered any attempt by us to conquer them and take over this planet. As is, the conquest was a complete success! You were wise to go slow after we found all those weapons dumps around this world. JC Marx was right, they no longer had a use for them, how fortunate for us! I still find it hard to believe the operation went as smoothly as we planed. It helped enormously that we were able to learn their language from the TV and radio broadcasts in space. And as we got close to earth, we were able to see what Marx was doing with these people and how he bathed in the glory of their praise and adoration. All we had to do was follow their lead until we were ready to strike. Herbivores, they’re such easy prey. I would have thought their leader, Marx, would have had a clue to our true nature from our sharp teeth, but he bought into the idea that plant life on our world was very tough and we needed sharp teeth to eat it. All we had to do was keep feeding his ego, keep eating their food, and act subservient to him while we set our plan in motion. I guess he had gotten used to his people following his every word like the sheep they were, and he could no longer detect when he was being lied to. We were able to paralyze all mankind in each biome with a long acting gas, like the human derived halogen, that leaves the victim alive and conscious, but unable to move. How convenient of them all to be in enclosed biome cities, with all the housing connected to central heating and cooling ducts, so we could gas them as they slept. They even allowed us to do most of the preparatory work for gassing them right under their noses, what a pathetic race. We have gathered them all up and put them in cold storage now, though some died and rotted, making them unsuitable for consumption. The gas used in the storage lockers will keep them alive until we can eat them all. I agree that fresh humans taste best, though the look in their eyes as we start to prepare them for slaughter is sometimes hard to take, but no animal likes to be eaten. Tonight, Admiral Mac-Na-Mara arrives with the rest of the fleet. This world should supply us for many generations before we strip it bare of all its resources. Our god Yall’ah has again provided us with a new home and all the resources we need to survive.
Praise be to Yall’ah,
Overheard at the dinner party for Admiral Mac-Na-Mara.
“May Yall’ah bless this meal and our new home. So Commander Mohamd-Al-Zak this is the first time I have eaten a meal that had a name. Who is on the menu tonight?”'
“Well Admiral Mac-Na-Mara, tonight we are having a special treat. He called himself JC Marx and he was the creator and leader of this race if you can believe him.”
'“Excellent Al-Zak pass me his leg if you would, I’m hungry!”
“My pleasure Sir though I must warn you that this race is on the tough side, though they do taste like chicken.”
“They’re tough, Al-Zak? Well they weren’t tough enough, were they? Bwa Ha Ha Ha!”